Oh hai. This is my life.
My big boy. #baby #allistairejace

My big boy. #baby #allistairejace

The Best Thing That EVER happened at my job
Me: Did you find everything ok today Sir?
Male Customer: Yeah everything was fine, but prices on the cat food just keep going up! I remember when it was only .30 a can! But I bet you don't, you're like what...20?
Me: 21, but yes.
Male Customer: God you're young, I bet you'd never go out with someone my age, unless you have some Daddy issues
Me: ...........
Male Customer: so do you like working here? Are you in school?
Me: Your total today is 21.38 Sir.
Male Customer: Are you seeing anyone?
Me: ......Cash or Credit Sir?
Male Customer: When do you get off work?
Male co-worker comes up next to me: Everything ok?
Male Customer: Yeah we're fine
Male Co-worker: Actually I think you're being really rude
Male Customer: What are you her boyfriend?
Male co-worker: No I'm not. And even if I was, why would it matter? Her job is to ring up your items, make sure your shopping experience was pleasant and give you change. You're making really creepy comments to a young woman you don't even know at a cash register, it's not ok.
Male Customer: You can't talk to me that way! I want to speak to your manager.
Me: It's really ok, everything is Ok
Male Co-worker: No no, I'll go ahead and call our FEMALE boss up here to address any grievances you might have *Sir*
Male Customer: slams down 25 dollars grabs his bags and leave*
Male Co-worker: You don't even have to take anyone's shit here. If anyone even looks at you funny, pick up that phone, call a manager, call me, call another co-worker and it will be handled. You are a valued employee and you deserve to feel safe and respected at work by *everyone*
ATTENTION SARCASM USERS

buttlass:

tweeckos:

we’re being faced with a serious issue.

there is only 1 sarcasm left

now we’ve got to use it wisely. please, for the love of god, think before you speak. it’s gotta be good.

yeah okay, i’ll be sure to do that

me: *owns 264 unread books*
me: *buys 17 new books*
me: *rereads harry potter*
whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said  “Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad) I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

whiskeydrinking-operating:

This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.

You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.

carriesfirstperiod:

my mom just looked at a spider at our kitchen and yelled “why do you have to be like that? you dont need that many eyes or legs you need to stop”

My monkey boy. #baby #allistairejace

My monkey boy. #baby #allistairejace

meghanlovesrowley:

lovealwaysangelairene:

mthrsuperiorjumpedthegun:

cravingsolace:

soccer-mom:

screwsociety:

lame-waves:

i guess i recorded an ice bucket challenge today after i got my wisdom teeth out ??

"I’M BLEEDING….. that’s okay i can still do it"

THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO EVER

If this doesn’t end up on Tosh.0 (is that even still on?), I will shit a brick.

ashrie0

Charlie Sheen and this girl have the best ice bucket challenges.  Hands down.

You go glen coco